Things have changed for Mike and I

We can't handle seeing little babies. We can't handle going by the baby section in stores. We will never buy Jr clothes or toys. We have a daughter so we see what we are missing with him everyday. It is hard for me to feel attractive, Jr died in me why would mike want me when that happened. It effects everything, I have flash backs at the worst times. I have heard a baby cry while laying in bed. I heard it from the baby moniter we have for Abby. I am affected by abortion pictures. Wondering who's baby that was and knowing it could be Jr.. The clinic said all parts id'd but why would the nurse use the garbage disposule if all that was in the tray was fluids? Things like that flow constently in my head searching for answers.